— Chapter One —

(Richard's Salvation Testimony)

Before The Beginning¹

Early Tuesday afternoon on April seventh, 1976 — our  Volkswagen camper-van lurched to a stop in front of the Benedictine Abbey in the mountain village of Pecos, New Mexico.  Diane, my bride of seven and a half months, nervously slipped out of the driver’s side and disappeared behind the massive front doors of the adobe monastery.

Minutes later, Sister Mary-Jo was praying with me in a small room just inside the entrance, as my uncontrollable sobbing continued.  From outward appearances, it seemed I was having a nervous breakdown; only God and perhaps the demons of Hell knew what was about to take place.  Surely, my hurting wife and I hadn’t a clue.  Mary-Jo then urged Diane to leave me there to be ministered to, not realizing she, at her wits end, was considering leaving me, leaving our home, the state — and the marriage.

At ten the next morning I was backed against the building’s east-facing wall, warming myself in the sun; protected from a biting north wind slicing through the piñon and juniper at that 7,500 foot elevation.  Tears still streamed as I sat in that iris bed on two bricks, distraught and wondering what was going on, for much had happened since my arrival.  One stranger after another (retreatants from around the world) had spoken specific things to me suggesting access to some very personal information; amazing!  They also told me about Jesus and salvation as I had never before heard, even though I’d gone to church for years.  The fact is, two years prior, I was the Assistant Pastor and president of a church!  (I later realized that although the Bible was used, it was a metaphysical group and not a Christian church.)

The previous night had been filled with ongoing torment and tears, and I had slept little.  Now, as I sat in that flower garden, more tears of sorrow, despair and regret flowed as though a dam had burst inside.  I was a broken, unhappily married man of forty-two, who could think only of the total failure and waste of my seemingly useless life.  But all that was about to change — dramatically!

A half hour earlier, I had been on the opposite side of the wall now sheltering me — in a room with ten members of the monastic community.  They had invited me to join them around a large table where Abbot David was teaching.  Somebody handed me a text-book which I stared at without seeing because of self-preoccupation and non-stop tears.  Suddenly, I was startled by a sentence* zooming up from the right-hand page — growing larger, bolder and brighter as it raced toward my face; it read:

“Unless you
become as a child,
you cannot hope
to enter the Kingdom of God!”

I was stunned and thought I was going crazy!  My head was reeling, tears streamed and my heart was nearly bursting with sorrow, anguish and confusion.  I excused myself and rushed outside.  When I slumped into that iris bed I was a dead man!  I was at the end of my rope and slipping fast.

It was probably 10:30 when I finally cried out, “God, if You’re real, help me ... I can’t go on! I can no longer manage life by myself; I need You!  I’m sorry for the mess I’ve made of it — I’ve ruined everything you’ve given me.  If only You will take charge, I’ll do anything — I’ll give you my life.  Jesus, please help me!”  God then answered my desperate salvation plea with the seemingly audible, life-giving words:

“You ARE my son!”

The fervent prayers of Sister Mary-Jo, my mother and those of an unknown number of faithful saints were all answered in that stunning, pre-ordained moment in time.  God forgave my sins, regenerated me, gave me hope and His Holy Spirit, took away all fear, and changed my tears of sorrow into those of joy!  He exchanged my failed life for a brand-new, everlasting one in Christ Jesus!  Jesus became my Redeemer and Lord.  God had dipped His finger into the shed blood of Jesus Christ and with it, recorded my name in the Lamb’s Book Of Life.  I was saved!  Oh, how patient, gracious and wonderful He is!

This life-changing, first encounter with God in 1976 is a foundation stone of my trust in Him.  It is the cornerstone of confidence in that memorial to God’s faithfulness which is always under construction in my heart.  It is a premier “Heartstone” from which I ever draw courage.

“Therefore thus says the Lord God,
‘Behold, I am laying in Zion
a stone, a tested stone,
A costly cornerstone for the foundation,
firmly placed.
He who believes in it will not be disturbed.’”

— Isaiah 28:16 NASB

Cornerstone Of Confidence

You, dear one, if born again,** have just such a “stone” in your own walk with Jesus.  However low-key your salvation experience may have been, it should be lifted up and displayed in a place of prominence — like a precious gemstone.  It is and should remain, a clearly defined, life-changing episode from your past that undergirds and strengthens you today.  After all, it was your personal encounter with the Eternal God of all creation!  It was that supreme moment in all eternity when ownership of your soul changed hands; its Title Deed, having been purchased by the life-blood of Jesus, was transferred from Satan, in the dominion of death, to God in the Kingdom of everlasting life.  The Bible tells us this event caused the angels of heaven to rejoice.  Your salvation cries out to be memorialized on earth too; celebrate it!

“Rejoice, because your names
are written in heaven.”
— Lk. 10:20b KJV

Please take the time right now to reflect on your own moment of salvation.  Surely, there’s a time and place that you can remember; perhaps even the names of people involved.  Ask the Lord to help you recapture the details of that life-changing event.  Pray for recollection of everything connected with it, including the clothing you were wearing.  Ask Him to bring back the feelings ... the whole gamut.  Do you recall your guilt, the fear, your desperation and tears prior to being born-again?  Do you also remember the incredible lightness after coming out from under that terrible burden of sin?  How about the freedom from guilt and fear that you felt; that sense of peace, love and joy which flooded your entire being — after salvation?

Let me reassure you that your salvation was an absolute reality in heaven, it did happen to you!  Don’t let the demons of doubt steal it away (even as you read these words, I sense that your heart is crying out to re-live the exhilaration; that sense of lightness and freedom which followed the forgiveness of your sins.)  Be assured that you can restore and enshrine the joy of it in your heart.  That moment when Jesus became your Lord, can become the cornerstone of your confidence in God’s ongoing faithfulness.  Recapture your salvation experience by writing it down.  Share it often so that it becomes a part of your thinking.  Please pick up a pencil, turn to page 54 and begin doing this now!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come”   — Rev.12:10a KJV

*Later examination failed to locate any such sentence!
**See page 76

1. Heartstones of Remembrance by R. Henry, pps 7-11 — 1995, Roadrunner Publications, Albuquerque, NM 87154

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