— From the distaff side —

Am I Willing?

“How are you doing?” one e-mail recently asked.  My first  response was about to be the usual: “Thanks for asking; I’m fine,” then on from there.  However, the Holy Spirit intervened with: “That’s not sincere.”  So I began afresh and this is the essence of what I ended up writing.

“I’m fine,” would quickly let me off the hook, but in truth, I’ve been struggling to the max with my flesh in a particular area.  I’m also ashamed to admit to still losing that battle all too often.  But I also know we’re called to share in Christ’s sufferings, that we might experience the power of His resurrection.  So I anguish in my failures, especially after thinking I’d progressed in my love walk.  Uhhh!  Discouragement tries to take over as the enemy of our soul is quick to heap on guilt and condemnation.

It’s not easy believing in God’s grace when I fall, but I must; then move forward in faith.  That’s what this spiritual battle between flesh and Spirit is all about as believer’s grow into Christ’s likeness.  As God’s child, I believe He has already won the war for me and that God always causes me to triumph in Christ (2Cor 2:14).  So why do I still lose these battles?

One day, I found myself pleading, “Lord, why is it SO painful to die to self?  His response: "Because you are not fully persuaded that the power, inheritance and glory of Christ in you, are better than the things you enjoy in the flesh." This was His loving rebuke and yes, it hurt.  But He wanted me to understand, repent and deepen my relationship with Him ... that I might know His victory more often.

Dear friend, it’s SO much easier to talk about suffering in denying self than to walk it out.  Yet it is key to following Christ and maturing.  If we want to be conformed to His likeness, there’s NO escape from submitting to the process.  Maturing can be slow and painful, but it needn’t be.  I find it is only when I humbly admit to having NO power of myself to “die daily,” much less be WILLING to, that the Spirit of God is free to work effectually in and through me.  How desperately I need the power of His grace!  I cry out with Paul: "O wretched (person) that I am!  Who shall deliver me from this body of death?  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord" — Rom 7:24,25. Be encouraged along with me; God IS ever at work in each of us, to cause us to will and to to work for His good pleasure (Phil 2:13).  He is faithful to do it, but only as we humble ourselves to seek and cry out to Him (Ps 119:33-40).  The persistent question pleads: “Am I willing?” Am I willing to obey?    — D.

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