— Hallelujah Health Tip —

In The Beginning

God placed in the earth, oxygen, pure water, nuts, seeds, grains, plus fruits and vegetables of all types — so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then Satan pulled from the pit, McBurgdys, with its 99¢ double-fat, cardio-bacon-cheeseyucker.  And Beelzebub asked, “You want flies fries with that?” And man said, (burp) “Super-size them!” — and man’s health began to flee.

God created fresh air, sunshine, yogurt, sprouts, berries, fresh juices and sumptuous fruit that woman might keep her figure — which man found so fair.

Then Satan inspired chocolate — and woman gained pounds.

God said, “Have more salad, avocados, mangos, vital juices and whole foods.”

Then Satan schemed up ice cream — and woman gained more pounds.

God said, “I’ve given you heart-healthy greens plus oils from flax and olives to serve them fresh and live, that you might retain your weight, youth and vigor.”

Then Satan conspired with chicken-fried steak and other deceitful foods — and man gained extra pounds ... his bad cholesterol going through the roof.

God designed running shoes — and man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

Then Satan countered with cable TV and a remote so man would not have to toil to change sports channels — and man gained (mucho grande) pounds.

God then brought forth double-geared juicers, nutrient-dense green drinks and potatoes — those delicious tubers naturally low in fat and loaded with nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced their starchy centers into chips  and strips and deep-fried them; also concocting sour cream and dastardly dips.

Man clutched his remote and glommed all the cholesterol-dripping cardiochips.

Then Satan saw and said, “It is good!” — and man went into cardiac arrest.

God said, “Man cannot live on Caffeine, Refined sugar, Alcohol and Processed food (C.R.A.P.) — only by that which is unsullied and complete with enzymes.”

Then Satan made drugs, quadruple bypasses, chemo, radiation, HMOs, etc.
 

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