A church-going teen faces her sin and finds God.

Inverness, FL

Dear Richard & Diane,

With both my parents having been saved for many years and clearly loving Jesus, I was raised in a Christian home, attended church regularly, had a knowledge of God and knew from early on that — I too loved Him.  Even as a young girl while swinging, I would sing His praises ... with a deep down longing to know Him more.

However, during my teen years, I drifted from wanting more understanding of God's Kingdom, to living by the selfish desires of my flesh and vainly seeking fulfillment through friends.  By then, for me, church had become a ritual in which I participated with my family.  Although I had a head knowledge of God’s truth, there was no heart reality.  Meanwhile, time fled as I cycled between partying with friends and going to church on Sundays.  I would party, then church; party, then attend church with my beloved family.  During this dizzy and dazed period, my heart became hardened to the things of God.  But I was okay! ... or, so I thought.  Partly because of guilt (though mostly self deception) I rationalized that I was “really not all that bad,"  and besides ... "I still had a good heart.”

After years of this, one evening while partying at a friend’s house, I became so totally drunk I couldn’t even lift a hand.  Somehow, in that helpless condition, I wound up in their pool where, but for the grace of God, I surely would have drowned.  Rescued and helped to my friend’s room, I then began vomiting all over myself.  Ugh!  Eventually, I lay on the floor, emptied, exhausted and fetaled like a baby.  I was stripped of any remaining dignity or sense of self worth.  While in that pathetic state of disgrace and defeat, I  then heard a voice.  It was a gentle, loving and all-embracing: "Melanie, What are you doing to yourself?"  Comforting and reassuring, its tone took me back to swing-set days.  I’d heard it then!  Immediately, I burst into weeping and through tears, cried out ... "Jesus!  I don't want this.  I want you!  Please forgive me!  I choose you ... I want you!"

Though drained and tired the next morning, I didn’t even have a headache.  But throughout that day, I reviewed everything that happened the night before; especially the disturbing question ... "What are you doing to yourself?"  Could that have been God?  Was it an angel, trying to save me from eternal ruin?

That night in my room, I rent my heart before the Lord, asking Him to forgive me.  I wanted to follow Jesus, not live for self.  My sin burden was unbearable!  Uncontrollably sobbing, I was overcome by my wickedness.  Then, the love of Jesus, the only One Who could set me free, flooded in, took away the guilt and cleansed me of sin.  He adopted me as a daughter of the Most High God!   Right then — six years ago, I chose to give up my dual life, and surrender it all.  Now, I know Him both in my head and heart ... my Savior, Shepherd, Lord and God.  Thank you Jesus!

Eternally grateful,

RL16-11